(2pm) Tis starting to get cool.
(6pm) Nice walk.
(10pm) I took myself to "Soul Man". (Kinda cute.)
11-5-86
(1am) Quiet nite of tv.
(11am) I am still trying to get psyched up to quit cigs, but still no luck.
(2pm) Nice workout.
(5pm) Nice walk.
11-6-86
(Midnite) Quiet nite of tv and books.
I wonder if my internal dialogue is what makes me seem slow-witted when I talk?
One advantage of going back into public accounting would be that it's a good way to meet a lot of people.
I suppose one reason for not talking about how long I have been celibate is that women seem to be leery of being first in a situation like that.
Grinder and Bandler's books on NLP are interesting. (I think I will reread my notes on them periodically.) (I am not particularly interested in hypnosis; but, what they have to say is also relevant to communication in general.) (And, I think there may be some clues there that relate to seduction. (These books deal with taking a person from one state to the altered state of hypnosis. I think that may be the same basic process that people use to seduce another into the altered state of sexuality.)) (I also think that if the books were read by a group of two to three people, so they could do all the exercises, that a lot more could be gotten out of them.)
Using the NLP model for incongruity, I have one part which is very sexual, playful, and mischievous (I know that part exists.), and another part that dearly loves the companionship of women. (I have let that sexual aspect out a bit in poetry, letters, and on the dance floor; but mostly it has been suppressed.) (Those two parts of me seem to keep tripping over one another, and causing a lot of confusion within me. (And, now that conflict has me pretty much immobilized socially.)) (I just have to figure a way to integrate the two, so that both goals can be obtained.)
(1am) Another thought on the NLP model for resolving incongruency: They say the first step is to identify the two conflicting parts. Then you teach the person to fully develop each part. And, finally, you integrate the two parts. (That has sort of been the story of my life. Prior to my marriage, neither my sexual aspect nor the one that enjoys women's company were developed much at all. Then, with my ex, I fully developed my sexual aspect. And, the last few years I have learned to truly cherish the companionship of lots of different women.)