10-10-86
(1am) I decided to go out on the town.
First, I went to Connie’s for a couple hours. (Miranda and her friend Dana were there and I bs'd with them for a bit. (Miranda is pretty and I would consider asking her out; but she is too young,. (And, as Erica says, Miranda needs to find someone who can go and do lots of fun things and that’s not me.)) (Dana, for some reason, reminds me of my sister, and she is one of those rare women who I feel no lust at all for.)) (Mostly I sat alone and watched two older women play pool. (I fell in lust with both of them; but I don't have the foggiest idea how I would have approached them, even if I could have figured out which one to chase.))
I stopped in at Corky’s and bs'd with Dell and Gwynn.
Then to the Hat for some dancing.
Fun nite.
(2am) One advantage of who I am is the special relationships I have with each of my women friends! (e.g., Carrie has had lots of lovers over the years; but I doubt that many of them get birthday presents from her still!) (I don't want to lose that!)
On bars:
1. If lots of women only consider guys there for one nite, I suppose that isn’t the place for me to go to meet them. (I am looking for friends and lovers, not a fuck.)
2. I don't have the necessary skills to meet women quickly there and seduce them.
3. I like bars, but they are a lot more fun when I go with friends! (And, I prefer to go there as a part of the evening activities; not as the sole social activity!)
4. One problem with them is I back slide and start smoking more cigs when I am there.
My sister also commented that, so far, she seems to have chosen men who she wouldn't get along with in a long-term relationship. (Made me think of Carrie.) (I hope that someday she picks someone who will be good for her, for more than a few months! (She deserves so much joy, and I hope she finds it in time!))
Another reason I feel that spending time with women is better is my lack of money. (I have little, so why spend it hanging out with the guys?)
I wore the shirt Carrie gave me tonite to the bars and got several complements. (Neat.) (She has good taste!)
Carrie commented that "Outlaws and poets" doesn't emphasize the story line enough. (I am still not sure where the book is going or what it's supposed to be.) (I wrote once about how going from poetry to fiction to nonfiction is a process of adding veils. (There are people to whom each of those mediums says more. (This book says a lot of the same things through poetry, stories, and nonfiction; and I am not sure that emphasizing any of those ways is the way to go.)))