I called to have my phone service transferred to the new apartment today. (The woman at the phone company kept trying to sell me a lot of fancy services. (Why? (I hardly ever use my phone.)))
7-3-86
(8am) You know it's going to be a long day when you start counting the minutes until five at eight.
The first thing I did this morning was to get myself a beer and put on a Doors album.
(3pm) What a shitty day. (I wish I wasn't so damned depressed!)
I have to find a way to make some money! (Poverty really sucks!) (I am tired of sitting around watching time go by, and not having the money for playing, meeting people, and dating!) (I hope I can sell my writing, because the amount of number crunching I would have to do to make money at accounting is totally depressing.)
(4pm) I suppose I shouldn't bitch too much about work, because I haven't done much this week. (I got so caught up in "Open marriage" and copying quotes into letters I haven't had time for much else.) (I wish I could find as much enthusiasm for numbers as I have for my studies and writing; but numbers are easy and boring, and people are fascinating.) (I think that book is a step towards restructuring my concepts about sexuality and relationships. (Romanticism and cynicism don't fit reality, and lead to unhappiness.)) (The book also gave me a clearer idea of what mutuality means.) (I need money in order to get out on the streets again, and see how it all fits together though.)
(7pm) Tonite I am holding a Doors festival in honor of the anniversary of Morrison's death. (But no one came.) (Oh well, it must be about time to break open the pint of VO I have stashed away.)
(8pm) The VO is tasty.
Note from the ozone: I just listened to "five to one" again, and it reminded me once more about how the oppressors take advantage of the fractures within society to focus the attention of the oppressed on fighting each other. Then, jumping to sexuality (I may not do it, but I sure think about it a lot. (Mr. Happy keeps reminding me.)), it occurred to me that "sexual monogamy" creates a lot of fractures in society, and probably has more to do with keeping people fighting each other, feeling sad, …, than anything else. (The war set up by demanding "sexual monogamy" from creatures whose nature is opposed to it, makes for a war as bloody as the one caused by religious differences.) (The fractures resulting from religions still annoy me. (I still believe the Taoists are right that "The way that can be known, isn't the way." We are incapable of comprehending the way, and fighting over which religion is "right" is idiotic!))