Quote:
Ezra Pound-"A slave is one who waits for someone
else to come and free him." (Last nite it occurred to me that maybe I have been
waiting for someone to give me permission to have fun. (Only I can give myself
permission!)) (Another thought that occurred to me was that I need to remember that
friends are for having fun with, not to bitch and moan to.)
(2pm) I started packing up some of my shit for the move. (So far I have pitched out more than I have packed. (I sure have collected a lot of junk.))
Now tis sun-tanning time again.
(7pm) It has been a busy day.
Now I am taking a break from typing. (This is quite a lot of work, but the time is flying by. (There is a lot to be said for doing work that one enjoys.)) (I feel guilty about investing so much time in something that isn't likely to pay off financially though. (That one English professor told me I write poems that aren't poems, and now I am writing a book that doesn't fit any accepted writing standard.))
It just occurred to me that Erica's coldness toward me started about the same time as I mentioned Carrie's comment that she should either shut up about me going to Wallace or take care of me herself. (Maybe that offended her.)
(11pm) Quiet nite of typing.
Now I am beat.
6-23-86
(8am) One nice thing about this typing project is that I haven't thought about work since Friday at five. (The problem is that now I wish I was back home typing, instead of crunching numbers. (Tis frustrating to love writing when I can’t make money from it.))
(2pm) I did do better Saturday nite. (I asked a bunch of women to dance. (I am still lost as to where to go from there, but I had fun.))
Every time my thoughts turned to worrying Saturday nite, a little voice would whisper, "Let it go."
Another difference Saturday nite was that I finally worked up the courage to wear one of my Hawaiian shirts. (Such a wild and crazy guy.)
(11pm) Quiet nite of typing.
I am beat.
6-24-86
(10am) I am wondering if working so much is an excuse to avoid playing. (I don't have the money to play with though, and the only way I know to make money is to work.)