7-18-85
(9pm) I walked down to P C J's to visit with Samantha, but it was a busy time there. (I ended up sitting up front by the window and watching the women go by.) (Zoe cruised through and we visited for a bit. (She does have neat eyes.))
On the walk back home, Barbara saw me walking by and invited me in. (I met a couple of her friends, caught a buzz, and had fun visiting with all of them.)
(10pm) On the way downtown earlier, I saw an attractive woman riding a bike. (I smiled and she smiled, and then she came back around the block and we exchanged smiles again. (How does one move past the smiling stage?))
7-19-85
(8am) Notes from the ozone:
1. One problem with harmony is that too much of it tends to dull the mind.
2. The woman from work, who dropped by the other nite, commented that I should rearrange my furniture. (I think I have finally figured out why: This arrangement isn't conducive to romance. (The only place two people could snuggle comfortably here is the bed.)) (Tis great for having a bunch of friends over though. (That is my primary need, so I think I will leave it as it is.))
3. Micro-cultures, where there are few or no women (e.g., prison, military, ....) seem to degenerate into sick attitudes and behaviors.
(10am) I wonder if, rather than the bars not being a place to meet women who are interested in nice guys, maybe it’s just the wrong time and place to meet them? (Right women, wrong time.) (Isn't that the time and place when they are often just looking for someone for the nite, and a jerk is going to give them what they need?) (?) (I still think nice guys deserve a little loving too.)
(6pm) I am fighting the blues again. (Some days I am tempted to check out and forget about the whole damned mess.)
7-20-85
(9am) I thought about going out last nite. (I am down to $12 again though, and it seemed like a shame to waste it. (When I am as blue as I was last nite, going out isn't likely to cheer me up.)-(And, I would have risked depressing others.))
Notes from the ozone:
1. One advantage of redefining our concept of family is that it allows us to expand our family without making babies. (We are all family, when it comes down to it, so why not act like it?)
2. I think people need to work through the anger (and other emotions that are stirred) generated by divorce before trying to build a new long-term relationship. (Otherwise, the anger (etc.) is likely to be transferred to the new lover, screwing up that relationship too.)
(Noon) I finished up letters to Erica, Carrie, and Hunter this morning. (I do enjoy my pen pals.)
If f'ing just for the fun of it is a fantasy, and romantic love is a dream; what is reality?
(4pm) I couldn't get psyched up for a long walk today, so I took a short one.