6-30-85
(2am) I took myself to see the movie "Fletch", and then to the Paw for some girl watching. (I enjoy girl watching, but sometimes it gets frustrating and depressing. (I look and I fall in lust, but when it comes down to it I have never met anyone who makes me want to risk jeopardizing my chances with Erica. (Tis probably a hopeless cause, but ....)))
Quote:
Marilyn French-"Because loneliness isn’t a
longing for company, it is a longing for kind. And kind means people who can see you for
who you are!"
(10pm) Twas a boring day.
7-1-85
(6pm) It does get lonely living outside of the herd.
(9pm) Marilyn French's book has made me think a lot and
seems to confirm my thoughts about being non-aggressive sexually, concentrating on
building friendships with women, that the number three (you, me and we) is the key to
relationships, and that communication is imperative to relationships. (It has also spawned
some quilt, and an awareness that I still have a long way to go, in overcoming my own
chauvinism.)
7-2-85
(8am) Notes from the ozone:
1. One problem with the unconscious mind is that, although there are innumerable jewels to be found there, you have to dig through a lot of shit to find them.
2. Is it conceit to call myself a poet?
3. I don't like the attitude towards women that some men have, but they are doing better sexually than I am.
7-3-85
(8am) I got a letter from Erica today. (In my last couple of letters to her I have been being honest about how she makes me feel, and trying to get some input. (In today's letter she cut me free. (Sad.))) (Back to working on trying to forget loving her and meeting strangers.)
7-4-85
(10am) Happy Fourth of July.
I went out drinking with Samantha last nite. (We hit the Crystal, the Paw and the Sundance. (I danced a bunch and had a great time.)) (I ran into some women I know and they all gave me hugs. (I love hugs.))-(They also introduced me to a woman friend of theirs, and we hit it off pretty well until she figured out I was there with Samantha. (I gave her my phone number and told her to call me if she would like to go out some time.))
(Noon) Quotes:
Marilyn French-"But my terror is that life itself
is a ritual transforming everything into death."
"But when does the symbolic leave off and the real begin?"