Note from the ozone: Isn't cynicism just fear?
How do those fellows do it? (I am just not cut out for cynicism. (Maybe I get
my heart stepped on, but how else am I going to find love?)) (The tricky part isn't
finding love. (There is lots of magic in life.) Tis making it stick around that is hard.)
(Oh well, it was time I wrote a few for the jerks. (Maybe I could publish them in Hustler, under an assumed name?))
And for those women out there, who are upset by them, I have women friends who have gone through a time when they could have written something similar. (Very few stories are gender specific.)
12-14-84
(6pm) I finally got my car back from the shop today. (I wonder how long it will run this time?)
And laundry is done for another week. (Relief.)
(11pm) I went to the office Xmas party tonite. (That was fun.)
And I bought another half gallon of whisky for the holidays.
12-15-84
(Noon) I am not sure I will be able to quit cigs until I find a girlfriend. (I seem to need someone around to tell me I am ok, in order to like myself that much. (Tis hard for me to feel ok about myself, when women keep telling me that I am not good enough to be their lover.))
(1pm) I think it’s probably a pretty hopeless quest to find another woman who is going to enjoy sex as much as my ex did. (There just aren't that many people who like sex a couple times a day.) (Oh well, sex is nice; but I have learned that one can't stay in bed forever.) (I think it’s more important to look for someone who I can get along with out of bed.) (Keep meeting strangers and building new friendships.)
Mail was nonexistent again today. (It would sure be nice to hear from somebody.) (I am feeling very much alone.) (I hate the holidays.)
(3pm) I am working on getting Erica off my mind. (I have to assume she isn’t interested, unless she says otherwise.)-(Protect my heart, and try to move on.)
Back to poetry corner: