(4pm) Per normal, hearing from Erica has brightened my day!
(6pm) Another excuse I have been using for staying home lately is the weather. (Tis hard to get into leaving a nice warm apartment to go out hiking in the cold.) (Someday I am going to have to cut out the excuses and haul my butt back out onto the streets.)
12-9-84
(2am) I took myself to see"2010" and then to the Paw. (The girl watching was pleasant, but I made it home alone again. (I sometimes thing that the odds of total disarmament are better than the odds of me getting laid.)) (I suppose I am not going to find much loving until I find a girlfriend. (Whatever it is that women are looking for at the bars, for a fling, I obviously don't possess.)) (Part of the problem is still that I would rather write a letter to Erica than to f some stranger.)
I did run into Zoe. (She is a sweetheart.) (Her and two of her girlfriends used to come into the Paw and drag me out on the dance floor. (Twas good for my ego dancing with three beautiful women at the same time!)) (I am still in lust with her.) (I wish she had shown up at Carrie's party. (I had even taken a bottle of ta-kill-ya to the party to split with her.))
Now tis time to crank up the electric blanket and have a visit with Rosie.
(11am) I am getting f'ed up again. (What else is there to do today?)
I can't seem to get into reading lately. (Puzzling over women, sex, relationships, and finances is pretty much a full time job anymore.)
(6pm) I took a nap. (I guess I am getting old.)
Samantha called and bs'd awhile. (Tis a relief that she isn’t pissed at me. (I need my friends.))
(8pm) I decided to have Xmas today so I opened the presents Erica sent. (I really love the muffler she sent.)
12-10-84
(6pm) I have been thinking about a conversation I had with a fellow at the Paw Saturday nite. (The word "woman" doesn't seem to exist in his vocabulary. (Tis either gash, bitch, or pussy.) Yet he seldom goes home alone. (And usually with one of the better looking women at the bar.)) (There seem to be a lot of fellows like that.)-(They make me wonder about my philosophy of treating women as equals and starting with friendships.)-(Why is it that women reward chauvinism so often?)-(Reminds me of Kate's comment about nice guys being boring and jerks being fun.)-(I suppose being nice is another of the reasons women find me undesirable.)
I wonder if Carrie and Samantha have been visiting? (I had mentioned to Carrie that I thought Samantha was mad at me, and the first thing Samantha said when she called was that she wasn't.)
I saw my ex at work today. (She comes into the County on a pretty regular basis to get food stamps and such.)