9-29-91
(Midnite) Quiet weekend of reading and tv so far.
(10am) D O has another mouse. (This one is still alive and she is toying with it in the kitchen. (Yech!))
(Noon) Joe stopped by and visited awhile. (He says my ex got married again a couple weeks ago. (He says he only met the guy once, and the guy wouldn’t talk to him. (He thinks the reason was that the guy is anti-college.)))-(He says the guy just got out of jail and is working at the Gibson guitar factory in Bozeman with my ex.)
He is thinking of taking a break from school. (He isn’t getting into it and he is having trouble figuring out what he wants to study.) (It might be a good idea.)
He says he is telling everyone that his name is Mathew (his middle name), to see if it changes how he is perceived by others.
(4pm) Carly and Ross stopped by looking for gambling coupons. (She says Phoebe has been on a binge all weekend.)
9-30-91
(Noon) I took the afternoon off again. (Yeah!)
I got a package from Carrie. (Neat!)
10-1-91
(Noon) Actually, I don’t think about sex that much anymore. (When that comes up I take care of the need and move on to other things.) (I spend much more time pondering on politics and philosophy.)
A relationship with a woman would be better, in a lot of ways; but I have more healing to do before I will be good enough for anyone. (In the mean time the videos act as a tool for desensitization and some pleasure.)
Cold sores are a form of the herpes virus and is always present in the system. (Sometimes an attack flares up for no apparent reason, but anxiety and stress do seem to trigger outbreaks.)
I am trying to reconcile myself with the reality that no one I end up with is likely to be compatible with me sexually. (That is fine as long as she doesn’t mind me taking care of that need when she isn’t in the mood.) (Tis more important to find someone I am compatible with out of bed!)
(5pm) Erica stopped by for a visit. (Neat!)
She can’t figure out what Carly is up to either. (Carly set me up with Phoebe, but ever since she seems to be saying things to sabotage the relationship.)