12-23-89
(8am) One downside of quitting cigs is my taste buds start to work again and I can taste my own cooking.
I feel bad sometimes about not giving friends anything big for Xmas and birthdays, but I try to make up for it by giving little things throughout the year. (One concept of the Jehovah’s witnesses is that giving is something that should happen every day, not just on special days. (I think they take it too far by banning giving on special days, but I think the basic idea is right.)-(We need to bring giving into everyday life!))
Work, the Club and friends stopping by provide me with some therapy. (It isn’t much, and I am not pushing beyond that level, but at least it’s something.) (It will take doing more and pushing myself into the situations that trigger more intense anxiety attacks, to get myself to where finding a girlfriend will be a possibility. (I still can’t get optimistic, because it gets real depressing when nothing ever happens. (I prefer to be pessimistic about finding love, and then I will be pleasantly surprised if it finds me.))
I am making some more tapes for Miranda and Erica.
Erica left some cookies and cupcakes. (Yum!) (I enjoy pigging out this time of year, but I am glad it doesn’t last very long. (I would balloon up again and I don’t want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe.))
I took the vcr in yesterday to be cleaned and checked over. (I hope this doesn’t take long!) (I have become real dependent on it!)
I think I will try lettuce to replace potatoes, when I run out. (Tis worth a try.)
(9am) I managed to get some cuttings and I started up the grow room again. (They are looking good so far!)
(4pm) Erica stopped by to use the computer. (Neat!)
(10pm) I am pooped!
12-24-89
(11pm) Time to crash and burn!
12-25-89
(11am) Merry Xmas!
I have sure slept a lot this weekend!
Yesterday I had some money left and started craving cigs, so I went and spent it all on new music and tapes. (I have lots of will power, as long as I am flat broke.)
I went over and got Erica’s vcr set up and watered her plants.