My favorite show on MTV is "Just say Julie". (What a hoot!)
I am thinking about closing down the grow room tomorrow:
1. My intuition says to.
2. I have gotten enough to more than offset my investment. (This will keep me in shake for a long time.)
3. Erica says her intuition has been telling her to keep a low profile now.
4. Selling would make me nervous, so producing more isn’t really necessary.
5. The Mayor is starting a war with the cops and I don’t want to end up a pawn in that battle.
6. My landlord’s mom owned this place. Now that she has died I don’t know what is going to happen. (They could be bringing in buyers to inspect the building.)
7. Too many people know. (If one of them gets busted, ratting me out is a way to cut their losses.)
8. Whoever owns the place, they are going to have to do some roof work, and I might be found out then.
9. I can’t have people here I don’t know and trust. (e.g., even if Lauren had tried to molest me, I would have had to turn her down, to avoid having her discover the grow room.)
10. I have the equipment and knowledge now, so getting it going again will be easy. (Let things cool down and don’t tell anyone about it when I start back up.) (I made a lot of mistakes this time and it will go better and faster next time!)
11. This really isn’t a good spot for it. (I need to find a new place where there is room for it to get over four-foot tall.)
12. I want to find a new place and I need to shut this down and get it cleaned up before I can do that.
13. The paranoia is getting to me!
14. The cops used to ask me computer questions regularly, but they stopped doing that a couple months ago. (Tis possible my name has now showed up in their database.)
15. Part of this winter’s depression may really have been a manifestation of paranoia caused by having a grow room. (I also wonder if the lite was part of the problem that I have had with sleeping too much during the last few months away. (It may well have been messing up my sleep and causing me to need more.))
(Ultimately it’s my intuition though.) (Tis another reason to fear people and push them away. (I already have more than enough reasons!))
I am torn about the stock markets. (The fundamentals just don’t justify the current levels of prices.)-(On the other hand there is still a lot of money flowing into the markets and greed is running rampant.)-(I suppose it will keep going up for now. (It will be interesting to see how long they can run a bull market on smoke and mirrors.))
I really don’t understand couples who fight all the time. (Disagreements happen in every relationship; but fighting constantly is a sign, to me, to move on.) (With my ex, we really didn’t fight. (She attacked me and I tried to calm her down and find some way to make her happy again.))