7-30-88
(1am) Erica, Artie, Linda and Paul stopped by and partied with me for awhile. (Neat!)
Tis wonderful having friends!
Tis really weird that Erica showed up with Artie. (He is interconnected to just about everyone I knew in Bozeman. (He was the first person who shared cocaine with me. (One nite he was partying with Carrie. She dragged me along with them for awhile, and they got me hi.)) (I have run into him a couple times at the Hat, but hadn’t talked with him much.)-(I don’t really like him that much, but I think the reason is mostly envy. (He has done a lot of the women I knew in Bozeman, including my ex, and I am just being small again.)))
Paul says I should find a girlfriend. (He says that now that I have stopped looking I will find someone, as that is when he met Linda.)-(That would be nice, but I have got my doubts. (Who could ever get through all my defenses and chase me?)) (A girlfriend would be good for me, but who and where and how and ….)
D O finally showed up. (I guess she has been out partying.)
(8am) D O kept bugging me until I got up and let her out. (I wonder if she can tell when I am hungover? (Those seem to be the mornings when she makes a pest of herself.))
(10am) I am feeling better!
D O just showed up with one of her buddies. (Pretty funny!)
I wonder why I haven’t gotten into sun tanning this summer? (My guess is that Lauren and Natalie are living in one of the houses by the park, and my unconscious has been blocking me from going anywhere near there.)
(11am) Laundry time.
I can’t remember ever playing softball. (I was such a klutz that sports was pretty much out of the question when I was growing up.)
The girl watching was sure wonderful last nite!
I wish I could afford and cope with getting out more! (I am weary of spending so much time alone and horny. (I am not depressed or sad about it most of the time, but I am aware that life could be nicer with more people in it and even better with a girlfriend.)-(Patience!))
(Noon) While the laundry was going I walked over to Hoagieville and got a burger and a shake. (That helped me feel better!)
I like the Rhino. (Nice bar!) (The crowd is pretty young, but my unconscious seems to prefer places like that. (If there were many women my age, someone might be interested.))
Linda does get pretty uptight when Paul is around. (Sad!) (I know my ex made me real tense! (Always worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing and being attacked.))