Carly’s comment about moving the computer into the bedroom was that, now I go to sleep with it and wake up with it. (Actually, I see it less now than before. (I rarely go to the bedroom, except to sleep or work.))
(11am) Laundry time. (Such fun!)
(4pm) Well, I cleaned for three hours. (Amazing!) (There still is a lot that needs cleaning, but it’s better.)
(8pm) I ate three x-tops.
(9pm) D O actually came and sat on my lap for awhile. (Amazing!)
(10pm) I am having a hard time getting psyched up to walk downtown. (Anxiety attacks are hell!)
5-1-88
(2am) The moon is sure beautiful tonite! (Nice!)
I went down to the Hat. (The music and girl watching were great!) (The place was sure packed!) (The male:female ratio was about equal. (Amazing!)) (A woman asked me to dance, so I danced one dance. (Neat!))
I think going out is good for me, but I am just not able to chase or be a desirable man. (Frustrating!) (I long to find lovers, but I can’t approach anyone.)
I miss Samantha sometimes. (Twas nice having someone to go to the bars with, dance with, and to keep me company.) (Maybe I will find another drinking buddy someday.)
32 cigs in four hours. (The joys of anxiety attacks.)
I didn’t see anyone I knew. (So what else is new?)
All the barstools were taken again, so I found a table. (It eases the anxiety attacks to be away from the bar.)
I would have to go out a lot more often in order to meet people. (And, get there early enough to get a barstool.)-(Maybe someday.) (I feel that I am no longer into a lot of time in bars, but maybe that is just my phobia spinning more excuses.)
Tis nice to not be bothered much by depression and loneliness! (Much better!)
Maybe I should try another intro ad?
(3am) Be nice to eat some pussy and get my dick wet right about now! (Oh well, visit Rosie again, and call it good enough!)
I brought home the plant Miranda gave me. (Twas slowly dying at work.)-(Maybe it will like it better here.) (I love flowering plants, but, so far, I haven’t had much luck with them.)