Erica brought back "Joy of sex". (Someone had marked a couple things in the book. (The first fits with what I meant about attitude being the important part of the book. We each have to relearn sex with each new lover, and relearn constantly with a long time lover, to keep the magic alive.)-(I try to follow the non-verbal cues of my lovers to learn how to please them. (e.g., showing each other how you masturbate allows your lover to learn about what pleases you.)-(My ex often used too much pressure, but I was too afraid of starting a fight to let her know what I liked.))-(I have got to learn to communicate verbally though. I have got to be willing to ask lovers what they like, and be willing to tell them what I like.)))
(9am) I feel good!
I sure had fun dancing with Chloe! (She was surprised I could dance. (Women rarely perceive me as someone who would be good at dancing or sex. (Shyness doesn’t fit our cultural stereotypes of what men are supposed to be like.)))
I am getting back to thinking I will have to get into cocaine. (The women I enjoy all love it.)
Going places where you know no one is kind of a drag, at first, but it’s something one adapts to. (I have done it a lot over the years, and I have gotten used to it.)-(Learning to go alone and to be happy is the tricky part.)-(Because of my shyness I have spent a lot of nites sitting alone in a bar with no one but the bartender to talk to. (In the past I was often sad at those times, but I seem to be getting better about that.))
The area Ross, Carly and Gwynn moved to sure is beautiful. (A part of me would love to move out of town, but what I have to learn requires being around people.)-(I have a hard enough time going out when downtown is a five minute walk away, and it would get much harder if it was a 20 minute drive.)
I don’t know why Carly asked me to move in with them. (There are only two bedrooms, and I would have had to use the unfinished basement.) (Maybe she planned on me sharing a room with Gwynn?) (Maybe she knew I would say no and was just being nice?)
The new place is much nicer than the old one, but they kept putting the new place down. (The deck should be bigger, the landscaping needs improving, there should be a Jacuzzi, ….) (It isn’t the nicest place, but it’s a major step up for them.)
I doubt I will see them much now. (I rarely go anywhere I can’t walk to.)
Sharon has complained that Chloe keeps stealing the tapes. (Chloe’s side of the story is that Sharon keeps messing the tapes up, so she is just protecting them.)
(4pm) Quiet day of movies, music and reading. (Nice!)
I fried up a chicken and started a roast for tonite.
I have got three classes this week.
(5pm) Erica stopped in for a visit. (Neat!)
(6pm) It took awhile to get psyched up for the grocery store, but I finally made it.