Beth reminds me of Linda a bit. (e.g., they both flirt a lot to get what they want.) (Beth keeps asking me about my lack of a girlfriend. (I have made it sound worse than it is. (e.g., telling people at work I have been celibate for six years.)-(e.g., I told a couple people I was impotent.))) (Yesterday Beth was mad at men in general, for some reason. (She said, "Do you know why guys like big tits and tight pussy? Because they have got big mouths and little dicks." My response was, "It has been so long I don’t remember.")-(Beth gives men shit all the time and it amuses me to see how she reacts to my celibacy and stories about my undesirability. (It fits in with my goal to turn off women at work. (Hopefully if everyone thinks I am a eunuch, it will be less likely that someone will file a sexual harassment suit against me.))))
(6am) I watched "Dynasty". (I wonder what is going to happen next?)
D O has been playing attack cat again this morning. (Mostly she is cute, but it gets annoying when she attacks my feet.)
It sounds like one woman Erica works with is afraid of men. (Fat, cigs, and going to bed early tend to be defense mechanisms.) (I can relate! (I am more relaxed than I once was, but I am still uptight and get anxiety attacks around people (particularly women). (Maybe I perceive myself as more relaxed because I am spending more time alone than I ever did in the past?) (It helps knowing what is going on!)))
Erica says that Linda and Paul are getting some evenings out, away from each other. (That is a positive sign.)-(Give each other a little space, room for other friends, and some privacy.)
I am going to make myself stay up until at least ten on work nites and midnite on weekends. (Get myself turned back around onto a more normal routine.)
(7am) Well, chores are done. (Nice!)
I managed to get some of Linda’s tapes done. (With a little luck I will finish that by Friday and start on the tapes that Erica and Miranda want.)
One sad thing about the first month of classes is I won’t be home Monday nites. (That has been one of the nites Erica stops by to see me. (She shoots in a pool league Monday nites and stops by here on her way to play.)) (Oh well, I need to start finding others to spend time with and stop being dependent on her for companionship.)
D O just scratched my arm. (Annoying!)
(5pm) Busy day! (Nice!)
Be nice when I can afford to go downhill skiing. (Cross county skiing is sure fun.)
I had to speak at the Housing Authority board meeting and give a presentation to the Council’s Public Works committee this afternoon. (I stutter and shake, but each time is easier and better. (Neat!))
I love the plant Miranda gave me, but it isn’t doing well. (Maybe it isn’t getting enough light?) (Flowering plants are hard to grow. (For me anyway.))