I suppose I should go out less in Bozeman and save the money for going out in Missoula. (Tis fun having people to party with here, but the only way I will collect drinking buddies there is to get out.)
I taped a couple albums to send to Hunter for his birthday. (I hope he enjoys them.)
Here is a puzzle: My serious lusts are seldom blondes, but my most frequent drinking buddies the past four years (Kate and Samantha) are both blondes. (I can't say whether he is right or not, based on my own experience, but Cunningham once told me that the reason blondes are more fun is that their pussy's are hotter. (?))
Another puzzle: When they reopened Roses they changed the name to Terrapin Station. (Samantha says terrapin means turtle. (What is a turtle station? (Sounds like my kind of place.)))
I suppose rather than trying to get rid of all my defenses, I should work on just letting some of them down a little bit. (I have so many defenses it isn’t even funny. (And, they have become so ingrained in my behavior patterns, they almost seem to have a life of their own. (Once upon a time, those behaviors served some purpose, and they got me to here; but someday I need to learn to let some of them down a bit, so there is room in my life for others.)))
One weird thing in Missoula now comes from Erica sharing my letters with others. (I didn't think that would bother me, but I guess I was wrong.) (People have given me some interesting input; but it's weird running into people I barely know, who know lots about me. (e.g., one fellow commented that I have defined answers for a lot of my problems, but I never act on them. (He also commented that I should stop writing and start living life. (I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. (I wrote even more than I do now, when I was going to the bars every nite. (If Erica had saved all those letters, they would probably make a better story for you all, than this period. (Many wild nites, lots of fun moments, interesting people, more tales of sex, more action, ….))))))-(e.g., one woman commented that she couldn't see why I would have a problem finding dates. (She is engaged, and I seem to be more relaxed with women who are attached. (Tis relatively safe to open up a bit with someone who is attached.))))
I wonder if I will ever get back to flirting again?
If I didn't need the money from this County contract, I would just as soon stay in Missoula. (I haven't made any new friends, but I like it there. (And, I prefer being home in my own bed to this motel room.))
(9pm) Busy day.
I had dinner at Samantha and Leo's tonite. (Fortunately Leo cooked.) (After dinner we bs'd and played cribbage. (Nice nite.)) (Leo says Terrapin Station was named after a Grateful Dead album. (I will have to write them to find out what a turtle station is.))
I caught a bunch of shit at the County today about not having a girlfriend yet. (I have a lot of sharp edges I have to smooth off, before anyone will be able to get that close.)