Note from the ozone: Isn’t part of the key to making a relationship work, to live with someone, rather than for them?
The more I think about it, the more I feel moving to Missoula is what I need to do.
(10pm) Carrie and Hunter stopped by and visited. (We played some cribbage, and then went to the ice cream parlor and pigged out. (Delish.)) (I talked to them about me moving to Missoula. Hunter thinks it’s craziness. I tried to get Carrie to help him argue his case; but she wouldn't.)
6-6-85
(8am) Notes from the ozone:
1. I really feel that there was something that came before our time on this world now, for all of us; and there is something that will follow.
2. I feel that we are not here for the purpose of accumulating wealth and having. (We are here to learn and grow.)-(And, I think part of what we have to learn has to do with surrendering part (not all) of ourselves to others.)
3. I think that focusing on the occult and trying to contact or use that which comes from outside this world is often avoiding the point. (Aren't we here to learn from and deal with this world?)
(9am) In her last letter to me, Erica commented that I need to stop labeling people. (I do tend to stereotype people. (Another fault I will have to work on overcoming.))
I haven't finished "Women in love" yet, but, so far, it’s my
favorite of D.H. Lawrence's books.
6-7-85
(7am) Carrie, Hunter, and Samantha stopped by last nite and watched the NBC lineup with me. (And Samantha had dinner with me. (Tis nice sharing food with others. (That is a nice ritual.)))
Note from the ozone: One of the tricks to relationships seems to be avoiding the tendency to slip into everydayness. (You have to keep making new magic or the love will fade.)
I have sure been lousy company lately and it’s hard to focus on my work. (I am really torn about moving to Missoula. (I want very much to move there and see if there is any hope at all that Erica and I could be more than friends; but I fear that I will just end up making a fool of myself again.)-(Tis so frustrating when only one loves.)) (Contemplating the move has inspired a bunch of new poems, and a new longest one for me.) (If nothing else, hopefully we could become closer friends, and I will have proven that I can still risk. (Although hesitantly and cautiously.))
Back to poetry land: