5-25-85
(10pm) Samantha stopped by and had dinner with me.
Hunter stopped by too.
5-27-85
(1pm) Yesterday I went to a party that Carrie and Hunter threw. (That was much fun!)
(3pm) Quote:
D.H. Lawrence-"They were so sensitive to their
women that they would go without them for ever rather than do them a hurt, an injustice.
Being the sons of mother's whose husbands had blundered rather brutally through their
feminine sanctities, they were themselves too diffident and shy."
5-28-85
(Noon) A bunch of Hunter's friends from Milwaukee (That is where he grew up.) came through town yesterday. (We all sat around bs'ing and got really smashed.)
Over the past year I have been wondering whether my mom's problems were, as my dad feels, primarily related to getting too involved with the occult; or primarily a result of a highly intelligent and creative woman, who was locked into being a housewife. (I suppose it’s a combination of those factors, plus all sorts of others.) (I can see where someone could get in over their head with the occult. (Pretty scary shit.)) (Tis sad how many people have allowed themselves to become trapped in games that are self-destructive to them. (Tis hard to break through the conditioning, self doubts, ...; and break out of those traps though.))
The other nite Hunter's friends were going on about how his ex-girlfriend needs to f a "real man." (She is 20 and her current beau is 34. (They figure he is over the hill.)-(Maybe I am over the hill?))
(3pm) Quote:
D.H. Lawrence-"You have got to lapse out before
you can know what sensual reality is, lapse into unknowingness, and give up your
volitions. You have got to do it. You have got to learn not-to-be, before you can come
into being."
(6pm) I got two more rejection letters on my book today.
(7pm) My poetry isn't meant to answer any questions. (All they are meant to do is to define some of the questions a bit more clearly (hopefully), and to make others think. (If they raise the level of the dialogue even a little bit, they will have served a useful purpose.))
5-29-85
(11pm) I got volunteered by my boss, to be a test drunk for a dui training program at the law enforcement academy tonite. (That was pretty interesting.)-(They got us drunk and then had teams of students run us through the tests for dui, and try to figure out which of us had drunk enough to be too drunk to drive.) (They busted me six times out of seven. (I think I will stick with walking to the bars.))