3-29-85
(Midnite) I went down to the Paw and got well toasted.
I didn't dance even though a bunch of my old dancing partners were there. (I was in too shitty of a mood to even talk to anyone, let alone try to play.)
(9am) I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Samantha again. (I have known for some time what illusion going out with her creates. (Twas a good deal while she was going with Leo. (e.g., She got some company while he was busy and I got some female companionship without having to deal with sex.)) (Samantha isn’t interested and by creating the illusion that I have a girlfriend, I have kept other women away.) (But now it’s getting in the way of her chasing men, and I suppose it’s time to start going it alone again.))
Over the years a lot of women have said they would give me a f as a going away present if I ever move. (Why do women offer to do me if I will leave town afterwards?)
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