It gets tiresome spending so much time alone. (I often don't talk to anyone from the time I leave work on Friday until Monday morning.) (The joys of poverty.) (I have to find some way to get enough money to do a little partying.)
(4pm) One advantage that this journal has over writing to Erica is that I am not leaning on anyone else. (Time to start learning to stand-alone.)-(So far I am not doing so swift though:
1. I have already gone through a quarter oz of smoke and a half-gallon of whisky,
2. I haven't done any non-work related reading,
3. I have withdrawn even more,
4. My poetry has grown more cynical, longer, and I am more prolific than normal. (Or is that part positive? (I seem to work through my feelings by writing about them.)))
Another factor in why I am staying home is that, if Erica should come to town, I want to be easy to find if she is looking for me, and easy to avoid if she isn’t.
(6pm) Time to catch up on poetry again: